My 9:30pm phone call was from a friend who's a personal trainer to some of the wealthiest people in LA. She was talking about her training session with one of her clients and how she was appalled by her outfit. Granted her measurements were that of an overly enhanced Barbie doll, she was proudly wearing a forest green unitard from American Apparel. She said to me "Rosa, really? A unitard?" It's not that her body couldn't pull it off but she was definitely making a public service announcement. The kind that tells people what NOT to wear when you're working out. Unitards are cute on 6 year olds going to dance classes. But it's not so cute when you see a grown ass woman sweat in it at the gym. I know what you're thinking...maybe we were just hatin' Uh...no! There is nothing more irritating than training or watching someone workout in some inappropriate outfits. So here's some basic gym etiquette I'd like to share with all of you as my own public service announcement.
1. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! Yeah we know you're proud of the body you've worked so hard for to look like a sculpted masterpiece. But let's face it; there are some of you that should know better. For the ladies...stick to black pants, tights or shorts. When your hoo-ha is sweating and you look like you peed something vicious, we think it's GROSS. And guys, the ripped off tank tops and the smedium tops and short shorts? It's 2011...a t-shirt or a tank top (if you can pull it off) with longer shorts and appropriate shoes. But the worst violation is to walk around butt ass neked in the locker room. I've heard stories fellas. You shouldn't be without clothes unless you're in the shower!!!
2. NO..AARGH!'S UUHHH!'S GRRR-UH!'S UUGH!'S. Leave the noisemaking for your special home video with your beloved. I understand the grunting and the moaning unleashes the beast inside of you but sometimes I have my headphones on full blast and still hear all that noise. Speaking of noise...
3. DO NOT SLAM OR DROP YOUR WEIGHTS. Rule of thumb is if it's too heavy to begin with, it's not going to get lighter after your set. Another reason why you either need a personal trainer or a spotter. And when you're done...
4. YO'MOMMA DON'T WORK THERE...PUT YOUR OWN WEIGHTS AWAY. It's so irritating when you're looking for 15 lbs dumbbells and you see every other weight but that. Or, how about loading up 5 45lbs plates on each side of the leg press machine and leaving it there for someone who only wants 25 on each side to unload your shit! So please put the equipment back where you got it. Load, unload. Load, unload. Repeat.
5. ONLY TAKE WHAT YOU NEED. Really? How many body parts can you work out all at the same time? I'm the queen of full body workouts, but damn...how can you use the incline, flat and decline bench all at the same time? The 15, 25, 30 and just in case you can do 2 reps 45lbs weights serving as your little fort. Free weights....yes indeed, can you please free the weights you're not using?
6. CHECK YOUR FORM. Swinging your weights, not doing full movements, hunched over, bad posture...to name a few is like hearing nails dig and scratch the chalkboard for me. I understand not everyone is blessed with the proper training or knowledge of form, but it is imperative to learn about it simply because it's for your own safety and the safety of others when you can't control the movement.
7. DE-FUNK! Enough said. Deodorize, sanitize, wipe, do what you gotta do to minimize the funk. Your armpits smelling like your ass is a good indication it's time to end your workout and RUN to the nearest shower.
There's so much more to share with you when it comes to my second home, but I'll have to leave you with this for now. I hope this helps you and the people around you. The gym is my happy place...please help me keep it that way!
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