Pole-ishness!

I go through different phases when it comes to my workout. Once I wanted to learn pole dancing and asked my sister in law to come with me. I was ready to "work" that pole. I brought my clear heels and leg warmers and I was sure that by the end of that class I'd be able to spin upside down on that pole. Uhm...not so much. First of all she wouldn't let me wear my heels (I realized later why, cause I would've broke my neck) and I ended up with burns between my thighs. No, not the kind of burn that required penicillin! The instructor was so un-sexy that I found it hard to get motivated. Shouldn't she have fake boobs and long legs with fake eyelashes? Why did I look more like a stripper than she did? It was an introductory class, I learned to hold the pole....even though I never had issues holding a damn pole for God's sake! She took the class to the floor. Oh..that I'm familiar with. She came up with a routine that even my Grandmother would've been able to learn (except she's dead and ew..her dancing?) I thought to myself, I can teach a class like this and people would come out feeling like a porn-star! She brought the whole routine back to the pole. I forgot which leg to wrap where. I fell on my ass. My tailbone still hurts. I would've sued except it was my fault for even thinking I could be a pole expert in an hour. It was going to take months, much to my disappointment. But one thing I know, practice is everything...I decided I need a pole for my house. Except it can only come up during the hours my daughters are in bed which is 9pm-7am. Oh, and where would it go? Damn! I can't wait until my children move out!