Surprise!!!

I discovered not all wax is good wax. I went to the nail salon to get my brows "cleaned up." Now as nervous as I was, I thought this $9 job can't be too bad. They do this shit all day, they're professional. So I decided to put my trust in their hands. I closed my eyes titled my head back and felt the warm wax touch my skin. She cut a piece of cloth which I thought looked more like a gauze pad and proceeded to rub it on the wax. Ten seconds later her exact word was "Oooops!" Now did this lady just say what I think she said? Of course my first reaction was not to beat her ass but to ask "What's wrong?" She said " Oh nothing, nothing!" How I interpreted that was maybe they were just stray hairs, no big deal. So she hurried and did the other side. I felt something different on my left brow as she was doing the right...almost a feeling of being somewhat naked. She did the right side and when she got done she acted rather odd. She was looking for a black liner pencil. I was so excited to see what my "cleaned up" brows looked like that I reached over for the mirror when she was busy looking for a pencil. She realized I was about to look at myself when she yelled and said "I no done!" Well ok then...something was definitely strange. She looked away again and since I had the mirror in my hand I quickly put it up to see myself, and Ohhhh Shit! Why do I look surprised even when I was expressing anger? Oh yes. Cause she didn't just wax stray hairs, she waxed half of my eyebrows with an arch so high I looked like RuPaul. She said "Oh it's fine...just fill up with pencil like mine!" What the hell? Lady...you ain't got no eyebrows! You draw yours on! I was livid! Shook and nervous that I would jump right for her throat, I did everything to talk myself out of assault charges. I spent a few minutes mourning the loss of my eyebrows. It just didn't make sense why I would need to now draw my eyebrows when I had eyebrows before this. With my head hanging low I walked over to the cashier to settle this transaction. She had the audacity to say to me "I give you half off!" Whaaat? "Naw bitch you took half off!" I paid, no tips. Sat in my car in disbelief and when I had enough courage to look at the beauty catastrophe in the mirror...I had to tell myself "It'll grow back...in the meantime, go rock that Surprise look!"

See You at the Treadmill

Stairmaster and I have a "love-hate relationship" I love what it does to my rear end and I hate that I need to spend at least 45 minutes to burn off 1/2 of a cookie I ate the day before. But what makes time go by for me is the gritty voice of Lil'Wayne, self help book in front of me and Dr. Oz's cheesy ass "show and tell" spectacle. I zone right out...all bases covered. Within 10 minutes of my stair stepping performance I realize someone decided to climb on the apparatus right next to me. I looked around...there's at least 6 of them available. Now what would posses this person to be right next to me is beyond comprehension. So I continued. I figured maybe the others weren't working. Then I noticed she was looking at my display console. I could tell from the corner of my eyes that she was curious what level I was on. I was at 12! Out of 20! That's right, I am the stairmaster queen! She put hers on 13. I looked at it and said to myself "I can do 13". Five minutes later I thought "I'm ready for 14" She put hers on 15. I looked over and for the first time we had eye contact. I couldn't show her I was starting to huff and puff so I couldn't slump. I started stepping every 2 steps. She was jogging on the damn steps. Before I knew it, I was engaged in a stairmaster battle. There's no such thing as getting anywhere. There is no prize for someone who finishes first. Damn...now I burnt the whole cookie off. Drenched and tired, it lasted for what seemed like 3 hours. It stopped, I gave her my evil eye, wiped off, took a deep breath and said to her..."See you at the treadmill!"

Timothy Ferriss: The 4-Hour-Body

1 2 3 next >> Timothy Ferriss spent 15 years testing every diet, product and plan...

Cleaning with A.D.D.

Yes...I'm one of the special people, self-diagnosed with ADD.  2 out of 10 adults walk around this planet undiagnosed (I made that up) so I'm going to say I'm one of them.  Cleaning is difficult as it is, but throw the person's inability to focus..now you have the recipe for a day of getting everything else done except the very thing you set out to do...clean! I woke up and turned on the lamp when I noticed the side table is full of dust. I thought to myself it's time to wipe the table. I walked to the kitchen to get the rag when I realized I needed to do the dishes, I put the gloves on and started loading the dishwasher. The phone rings in the living room,  I walked away from the sink to see who called when I looked at my kids' dirty socks on the floor. I missed the call, but I picked up the socks to put in the laundry basket in the bathroom...and just as I thought it was time to do the laundry...I sorted, but not until I decided the bathroom sink needed to be cleaned, and while I'm there I will spray the tub with the cleaner so I can clean it before I take a shower. Now I'm ready to sort the laundry but I wanted to include the sheets,  I removed the sheets and  took out the new ones so I can make the bed. I walked to the closet and what do I find? The vacuum cleaner! I pulled it out of the closet to remind myself to vacuum when everything is in order. I'm confident I'll get to it....but not until after I make lunch and watch Housewives of Atlanta.